Saturday, July 12, 2014

Massage Man

A friend of mine gave me a free massage for the local massage school. I was pretty pumped to fully take advantage of this, so he went ahead and made me an appointment. I got to my appointment and headed into the massage room. The masseuse told me to strip down into what I was most comfortable, so as always I took off all my clothes other than my underwear. The massage went pretty well, you could tell the masseuse was still learning but overall it was a good experience. When I came out of the room, the masseuse went outside and the instructor asked me if I could fill out a survey about my experience the use for the students. As I proceeded to complete the survey I went to write "She did a great job!" When I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure if it was a guy or girl. She had a short hair cut, but I just assumed she was a more masculine woman than a more feminine man. I was find with either, I just wasn't sure. So I asked the instructor, "what was the student's name again?", the instructor responded "Ty". Well crap..that could be a guy are a girl. So I crossed out she and wrote, "They did a great job!" Just to be safe...when I gave the instructor the paperwork back, he asked me, "So how did HE do?" That solved the mystery. Apparently the whole time that I thought a woman was working on me, it was a man. And I was buck naked the whole time. Moral of the story: make sure to ask for a man or woman when booking a massage if you have a preference.
Song of the day: Life Happens by Brandon and Leah

The St. Paddy Selfie

It was the weekend before St. Paddy's day, so obviously the only thing to do was head out downtown to celebrate in the festivities. Naturally, we started at 10 a.m. Because that's always a good idea. We were at the local Irish pub that is a must on St. Paddy's day and we met this guy named Nick. Nick referred to himself as "bad ass Nick." Nick seemed like a fun guy to hang out with, not really my type, but more of a he'd be a fun person to call up to go have a drink with. Apparently, after asking for my number, Nick's idea of a good time with me involved receiving a selfie. Instead of writing out a whole story of what happened between me and Nick, I am just going to write out the text message conversation that ensued on the days following our exchange of numbers:
Saturday, March 15th (after my friend and I had left the bar Nick was at)
2:50 p.m.
Nick: Where u at?
Me: Headed to Fast Eddies
Nick: Without me? You are Cute.
4:50 p.m.
Nick: Where u at
Me: Revolver
Nick: K I will try to come up there....I want u
5:50 p.m.
Nick: Where u at
Me: Revolver!!!!
Nick: I'm drunk. U still out partyn.
11:50 p.m.
Nick: Hey Sexy Shorty
The following few days after that there was a little small talk between he and I, nothing too exciting, basically the usual "did you make it home last night?" "What are you up to today?" "How was the rest of your weekend" Completely harmless back and forth, until a few days later...
Sunday, March 23rd
*Small talk about college basketball and my love for the Zags and apparently his lack of love for the Zags.. (should have been my first red flag)*
Nick: What are you up to
Me: Having lunch with some friends
Nick: Nice! Have fune and don't talk about me the entire time lol. Let me know when you get ready to leave so I can place my to go order with ya ;)
Me (trying to amuse him): Haha sure no problem
Nick: I knew I liked you :) now stop texting me and have fun w/your friends. Oh if u snap a quick selfie feel free to let me see.
This is when SH*T got weird. Really?!? Snap a quick selfie???
We then began texting about the Zags game that was on tv and he asked if I wanted to make a bet...so naturally I told him we could bet a high five...
5:15 p.m.
Nick: Is my food getting cold? LOL
me: Umm...about that..
Nick: Wow! Talk about a let down...and I didn't get a pic!....
Nick: Hope you know I was just playin
*I never responded...it was getting too weird.*
Monday, March 24th
1:45 p.m.
Nick: I believe someone lost her bet
Me: ya ya ya
Nick: Gonna have to collect. How about a pic of u giving me an air high five lol.
*STOP ASKING ME FOR PICS CREEPER*
9:00 p.m.
Nick: Guess I'm going to collect my winnings another day lol.
*At this point I am completely creeped out and no longer going to speak to this guy, yet he somehow still did not get the hint*
Wednesday, April 2nd
Nick: Hey stranger
Wednesday, April 9th
Nick: Hi
Then he finally stopped. Note to all men out there: DO NOT ask a girl for a selfie the day after meeting her. It's creepy.
Song of the day: "Follow Your Arrow" by Kacey Musgraves because I just love her..and her songs.