Snack Time..

A while back I went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday. We went to a local sports bar and some of my friends were playing pool, when a guy came by and asked if he could join. But first we need to rewind real quick, my friend Shar is determined to find me a man. I know she’s coming from the best place ever and has the best intentions, but I’m convinced she has relationship amnesia (please refer to this article for an explanation: http://hellogiggles.com/married-friends-and-guys-who-like-their-mom). I think she just really wants to have another couple friend to do couple things with, and I am totally dropping the ball on that one. Anyways, fast-forward to the bar. Shar’s husband is playing pool with this guy, we’ll call him Jim. Shar comes up to me and is convinced Jim is the man for me…I tell her not to embarrass me and knock it off, cause that’s what best friends do. So Shar decides to play it sly and have her husband get his number, because Jim seems like a loner that doesn’t have many friends, oh and he went to WSU, which in Shar’s book automatically makes him dateable :) Also, Jim was at the bar by himself, he claims he was supposed to meet some friends there and they ended up ditching him, but I’m still skeptical about that story…Anyways, I end up playing pool with Jim and he seemed nice enough, not a love connection, but a nice guy. We say our goodbyes and go close our tabs and Jim creepily sits at the table behind us watching..keep in mind the bar is closing, everyone has cleared out, and he has already closed his tab. He then follows us outside and goes to his car and leaves. Phew.

So we decide to stop at Jack and the Box, because two tacos at 2 am always sounds like a good idea when you’ve been drinking, and Shar’s husband gets a text from Jim. The text says, “Hey. I don’t remember your friends name but can you tell her to call me sometime.” Ummm. No. A. you don’t even remember my name. and B. I do not call guys, if he really wanted to talk to me he should have gotten my number. So Shar’s husband says, she’s not gonna call you, here’s her number. Shortly after I get a text message from Jim that says, “Hi. I don’t remember your name but it was nice meeting you.” I politely told him my name and said it was nice meeting him as well. He then responded with “Would you like to go out and get a drink sometime” So I said sure. To which he responded, “Sure? That doesn’t strike much confidence. It’s cool if you don’t want to go. You can say no.” What I really wanted to respond with was, “REALLY?!?! WTF do you want from me, I don’t even know you.” But I didn’t…and then he said “Ok, I was playing around, you already said sure, so you can't say no now :)” I had no words to respond to this so I decided to go to bed and not respond until the morning.

The next day was Superbowl Sunday, I went to a superbowl party and was on my way home around 9 o’clock when he asked me if it’s too late to meet up for a drink. It’s Sunday night and 9 o’clock, yes, it's too late. Who goes out for drinks on a Sunday night? Are bars even open on Sunday nights? I nicely responded with yes, it was late, I had work in the morning, and I was just leaving a party. To which he responded with ya, me too, just thought I’d ask.

The following week he asked me to meet up with him for drinks and appetizers over the weekend; I told him I was going to be out of town. Later I found out he hung out with my friend Shar over the weekend and was questioning whether or not I was really out of town….I don’t know you. I’m not a liar. Don’t make assumptions.

So the following week, he asked me if I wanted to go get a drink and a snack on Thursday night. A snack? What is a snack? I was confused. The smart ass in me wanted to say let me check with my mom and make sure it doesn’t fall into my nap time..but I refrained and kindly said sure, what time and place? His response was 8 o’clock at the local bar. 8 o’clock?!? During the week?? For a snack?!? I’m getting too old for this. Plus, doesn’t he know that you’re not supposed to eat 3 hours before you go to bed?!? This was totally ruining my diet. But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt…plus it’d make for a good blog story eventually I was sure. So I go and meet up with him, and the conversation was fine, again he was a nice guy, just not a whole lot of sparks flying….then he started asking me about my siblings, and if they are married. So I told him that my brother is divorced. So naturally, he asks me how my parents felt about that…I told him I don’t think any parents want to see their child get divorced but it was probably for the best…why were we having this conversation? Then, all the sudden, it all made perfect sense, he got really quiet and red and said I have to tell you something, I’m recently divorced and have 3 kids. It totally clicked, this is why he said snack, he is in kid mode..at least there was an explanation for that. I kindly asked him about his kids and made a mental note to text Shar immediately….I then found out that he works the graveyard shift and would be going to work in a few hours..as he drank about 3 beers. The HR person in me really wanted to lecture him, but I refrained.

A week or two later he invited me to go to the movies, but I was out of town (really..I was). A week later I ran into him at a bar and he told me, “my friends told me I should just give up on you.” I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to be rude, and I had no clue how to respond to that.

Morale of the story: If a guys asks you out for a snack, he is probably recently divorced with 3 children. Also, when you know you know. Don’t waste your time going on dates with people you really have no interest in, it’s a waste of time.

I recently read this post on hellogiggles.com and I can totally relate to it, and today’s post kind of fits with it perfectly, I referred to it earlier as well..enjoy! http://hellogiggles.com/married-friends-and-guys-who-like-their-mom

Song of the Day: The Fighter Feat. Ryan Tedder by Gym Class Heroes (Papercut Chronicles II is one of my favorite albums..so great!)

Real Life Vampires Bite.

So I had a friend/potential love interest that I had been talking to for awhile. One weekend I went to visit him and some friends and we decided to go out on the town for the night....and said friend began to get increasingly intoxicated. We decided to head to another bar and he and I got in the back seat...apparently he decided to try to seduce me and bit my cheek...it wasn't a seductive or sexy nibble..it was a definite bite. I tried to laugh it off like it was no big deal and he was trying to be funny, but then when we got on the dance floor at the next stop he did it again. At this point, I politely asked him to please stop because he was kind of hurting me and it felt like I was getting a bruise. Apparently he took that as please bite me more and tried to bite my cheek a few more times!! I was completely baffled, like seriously, who tries to take a chunk out of a girls' cheek and considers it sexy? This was not ok and my cheek was getting progressively sorer. The next morning I woke up and went into the bathroom to find a bruise on my cheek. I felt like I was in Jr. High and trying to hide a hickey from my mom! A few days later he texted me to apologize for what happened. His reasoning for biting me was, "It's hard for me to show my emotions and I like you...I thought it was hot, like Edward." So note to all those Twi-hards out there...real life vampires are not as sexy and hot as the vampires you see on tv..and biting hurts.

Song of the day..."Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye, because needless to say..he is now somebody that I use to know.

Obviously He Deleted You For a Reason...

It had been two years since I had talked to my ex-boyfriend. He now has a serious girlfriend, which apparently means I no longer exist. A few months ago his brother died, so I sent him a nice message sending my condolences and letting him know I was there if he needed me. He responded with a thank you and that was the extent of our conversation. I thought maybe after this tragic incident we could at least be civil and not pretend that neither of us existed in eachother’s world. Apparently I was wrong.

Not long after I had texted him, I noticed that he had deleted me as his friend on facebook (honest mistake I was sure ;) ) I thought if I sent him a friend request and he accepted this would mean that we could at least be friends. I think we both knew a real relationship would never happen between us, but we got along great as friends. A month or two passed by and my friend request was never accepted. Oh well.

During the traditional night before Thanksgiving outing, I went out with some friends and he happened to be at the same bar as me. He immediately turned his head when making eye contact with me. Wow. Really?! So a little later in the night, I realize his girlfriend has disappeared and he is signaling me to come say Hi. So being the somewhat inebriated girl that I am, I went up to him and said hi. He immediately said to me, “I’m sorry I didn’t add you on Facebook but my girlfriend won’t let me.” No Hi, how are you doing, what’s new? but an immediate apology for not being my Facebook friend. Obviously, he was bothered by this. I’m sure I made some smart ass remark about this and how ridiculous it all was, and how he needed to grow up and be a mature adult, to which he agreed with me about. I made sure to assure him that I had no intentions of ever having another relationship with him, and he completely agreed. He then went into the typical schpeel of “You’re a wonderful person, I want only the best for you, you deserve it…blah blah blah” we chit chatted for a while longer and said our goodbyes.

When I got home I realized how bothered I was by this, so I decided to send him a text (because inebriated texts are always a good idea) and said, “Hopefully nobody else is reading this, but I’m glad you are doing well and it was nice to see you.” No sexual innuendos or inappropriateness, just a nice little note to a friend.
Around 8 a.m. the next morning I got a response for him saying, “Who is this?” I began to panic. Obviously, she made him delete my phone number a long time ago, and I was about 99% sure that this was his girlfriend texting this, I don’t think he’d be up that early and he probably would have been able to guess who the text was from just by our conversation the night before. I didn’t want to get him in trouble for such a stupid thing. So I decide to just pretend I sent a message to the wrong number.

This is how the conversation ensued:

Me: Is this Shawn??

Him/Probably Her: Did I see u last night? The pub was packed. (at this point I was almost positive it wasn’t him because he would call the bar a pub??)

Him/Probably Her: This is Josh Smith (name has been changed =))

Me: Ummm…sorry I think I have the wrong number.

Him/Probably Her: Why u acting?

Him/Probably Her: Hey Melissa, there is someone else reading this and always will be. Josh is doing just fine, so no need for u to text him anymore. (I’m still trying to figure out how she figured out it was me…I think she probably just scrolled up on the phone and saw the message I had sent him when his brother died)

Him/Probably Her: Obviously he deleted our number for a reason! (Umm..obviously. You are crazy)

Him/Probably Her: Glad we have an understanding.

At this point I am just laughing hysterically and feeling really bad for someone who is in a relationship that they can’t trust so much that they have to constantly check their phone to make sure they are not talking to anyone else. That must really suck. I should probably keep my distance.

Also, the following Sunday I went to church and guess who was there and announcing she was becoming catholic?!? There goes God again with his silly sense of humor =) She must not have gotten to the part in her RCIA class where they teach about trusting and forgiveness….

Song of the Day: We Are Young feat. Janelle Monet by Fun

Seriously?!

So I am really trying hard to be open to others and not come off as stuck up or such a snob, since I am told sometimes I can be a little standoffish when first meeting someone. But after this fiasco, I feel like it’s better to wear my emotions on my sleeve and if I am not interested in someone, it is better to just give them the cold shoulder than be nice.

A few months ago I was at a friend’s house for a football game. At this party was Dan (name has been changed =) ). Some background history on Dan: When I was in high school my brother’s girlfriend was in the same class as me, my brother was 2 years older. When I was a junior, my brother was attending the local community college. While at school I would constantly hear stories of how my brother’s girlfriend was cheating on him with Dan. I would tell my brother and he would just yell at me and make me cry and call me a liar. Obviously, he wanted to trust and believe his girlfriend. Not long after this, my brother’s girlfriend broke up with him and became pregnant with Dan’s child. Told you so.

Fast forward about 8 years later….Dan is at this party. I really haven’t had a conversation with the guy and he begins to talk to me, I decide to not be rude and have a conversation with him, that wasn’t too painful. A few weeks later I see Dan at the movie theatre with his daughter, I say hello and proceed to go watch my movie. The next day I have a facebook message from him asking how my movie was, again I don’t want to be rude so I respond. We go back and forth for awhile with small talk, and eventually he asks me for my number. I know we have mutual friends and Moses Lake is such a small town that I am bound to run into him again, so I give him my number.

Dan proceeds to text me constantly that night, I tell him I am going to bed and he tells me that I should continue to text him until I fall asleep. Umm…no thanks. I’m tired. The next few days he continues to constantly text me and I’m not really sure what to do. I try to take a long time to respond and blame it on my nephews that were visiting at the time and he asks me, “do you want kids of your own?” Umm..ya, but not at the moment. He then says, “Oh you want to wait until you’re married?” At this point I am extremely irritated but don’t want to be rude, since I know he has a kid out of wedlock, so I nicely respond, ya..that’s the plan! To which he responds, “doesn’t everyone?? That was a joke”. Not sure I see the funniness in that…..

So then I try to nicely tell him I’m not interested by telling him, I’m not sure what your intentions are but I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. He responds that’s cool, I just wanted to go grab a drink sometime, did you just get out of a relationship or something? No…I didn’t, I just really don’t want to talk to you. And he still continued to text me regularly.

After consulting with some friends I decide the best way to handle this is the ignore method.

This is how it has been going:
12/25/11 – Merry Christmas!
12/26/11 – Hey how was your Christmas?
12/27/11 – Did you forget about me? =(
1/1/12 – How was your new years?
1/8/12 – Hey
1/17/12 – Happy Bday 
1/21/12 – (FB Message) did you change your number or something? i have tried to text you a few times and you never respond =\

At this point I really just want to respond to him and tell him that I don’t think it’s a good idea to speak with him given the fact that he knocked up my brothers girlfriend, probably while my brother was dating her, and I really think it’s extremely inappropriate for him to even think it’d be ok to hang out with me.

Oh, and I later found out that at that same party he got my best friend’s 18-year-old sister in laws phone number…he is 28..gross.

Song of the day: Cry Me a River by, Justin Timberlake. Its pretty obvious why. :)

God has a Silly Sense of Humor

So a few weeks ago I decided to go to church for Palm Sunday. I got to church a little late, so I slipped into the pew in the very back. Church had already started so I was trying to be as quiet as possible. As soon as I sat down a gentleman next to me said (in his outside voice might I add), "Good Morning!". I responded with good morning and thought to myself, is this kid for real? He then proceeded to discuss with the person he was with how he was trying to make a cross out of his palm and the difficulty he was having with it. All I could think of was how ridiculously loud this guy was being when we were suppose to be quiet and reverant. I think the lady behind us got so fed up with how loud he was being that she eventually just gave him her palm that she had made a cross out of to shut him up.
He then turned to me and asked me what page the reading was on, again in his not so quiet church voice.

After communion, I quietly went back to my pew and kneeled quietly to be reverant and pray (which was what everyone else in church was doing), except for my friend sitting next to me. He thought this would be a great opportunity to introduce himself (again in his not so quiet church voice). He asked what my name was, if I was a student at Gonzaga, and what I was going to do on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. I was in such shock that he was talking so loudly during this time of silence that I tried to just quietly answer him so he would leave me alone. Once we sat down, he turned to me and asked me for a pen. I handed him a pen out of my purse and watched as he wrote his name and number down on the collection envelope. He handed me the envelope and told me to give him a call sometime if I ever wanted to get a drink or hangout. I gladly took the envelope and left church as soon as I could.

As I left church, I thought to myself..touche God. Touche.

Song of the day: "Someone Like You" by Adele..I HIGHLY recommend her new album 21. It is beyond amazing!

The Set Up

I hate being set up. It just really bothers me for some reason. Maybe it's because I feel like people feel sorry for me because I’m single, or it makes me feel like I’m a loser because I can't find anyone on my own, whatever it is, I don’t like it.

For example, my cousin always makes comments about me being single and not giving people a chance. In my defense, my cousin lives 2 states away and when I go to visit, I want to spend time with my family, not his friends. And he really has never tried to go out of his way to introduce me to anyone. Anyways, he called me one day and told me about this friend of his, we’ll call him “Matt”. When I asked if Matt was attractive, his response was, “he has a great personality.” Not a good start. So he tells me to look up Matt’s facebook. I look at his facebook and he seems like a decent guy, not really my type but whatever. A few weeks later Matt tried to add me as his friend on facebook. At first I didn’t really want to add him. I don’t know this guy and he didn’t send me a message or anything saying who he is, but I knew if I didn’t add him I’d hear it from my cousin. So I accept his friendship and the guy never attempts to even talk to me. After about a month I decided to delete him, I find it kind of creepy to friend someone who doesn’t even know me or make an attempt to know me. He obviously was not that interested in me.

Then it happened again today. A friend of a friend commented on my facebook to send her a text. I text this girl, whom I rarely talk to, and she tells me how her brother in law saw my picture on facebook and was interested. A few days before this, this girls brother told me he wanted to hook me up with the same guy..and his wife said NO immediately… coincidence? I think not. So I respond with who is he? Do I know him? She tells me he’s a nice guy and offers to send me a picture. I decline because I think its awkward for her to send me a random pic of this guy who is sitting next to her. So I tell her he can go ahead and add me on facebook if he wants to get to know me…I figure this is the easiest way of getting out of having to give him my number. So the guy just added me on facebook. He has made no attempt to say hello to me. And I don’t really think he is my type anyways. He’s 6 years older than me and posts pictures of his animals on facebook. I think the thing that bothers me the most about this incident is this girl knows nothing about me. I wouldn’t mind so much if my sister or one of my best friends who knows me really well would try to set me up with someone. How does this girl who knows nothing about me, other than who my family is, know what kind of guy would be good for me?!?

I don’t have time for guys who are too chicken to talk to me. Facebook is ruining my life. This is exhausting.

Song of the day: One Love by the Glee Cast. I got some new Glee CDs for Christmas and this song is one of my faves off the soundtrack!

Update: Guy from story #2 just facebook messaged me...further proving why people who don't know me should not set me up. Here is his message:
"Ok.. So my sister in law said you were a single girl..haha. I would like to meet and hang out. Lets go out somewhere and have some fun!!! What do you think?

Oh.. Lets save the background information about ourselves for later. I'll just say one thing about myself. Im very driven and focused in my life."

I rest my case.

Why Men Love B&%*es!

My dear friend Shar bought me this book called, "Why Men Love B&*ches" She bought it for me because she felt I was selling myself short when it came to guys. I'm not completely through the book yet, but I think it has some really good incite. In general I agree with most of it, basically it says how a girl should value herself and not let a man walk all over her-she has to make him work for her because she is a prize and worth it. Which I totally agree with it. It also explains how to not appear to needy too a man and keep him intrigued. Other parts of the book I don't necessarily agree with...or at least don't have enough patience to go through with :) Then today I got my newest copy of Cosmo (whose subscription was ironically given to me by Shar too, haha.) As I was reading cosmo, I was asking a guy friend of mine if he agreed with what it said about guys, some he agreed with, some not so much. This got me to thinking...what's with all these rules and games we have to play to get guys?? Why can't I just be my impatient, sometime obnoxious, and silly self and let everything else fall into place?!? I like to think that if someone really likes me, they'll deal with how crazy and impatient I can get at times. I'm not saying these books don't have valid points, because they do..but there's only so many relationship books I can read before my brain explodes. And if certain girls would stop being so easy, guys would learn how to work a little harder to get what they want :)

Song of the day: This Ain't No Love Song by Trace Adkins...kind of goes along with the whole playing games thing, and I like it!

What do you do for Fun?

I have always thought it was an odd question when I first meet someone and they ask me, "what do you do for fun?" I mean I understand that they are just trying to be nice and get to know me, but I think its an odd question to ask someone. Maybe it's because I never really know what to say. Should I say, "In my spare time I facebook stalk people, go out with my frinds, occasionaly go to the gym, and watch reality t.v." I mean I think that's pretty standard for the average 20 something year old. Or maybe I'm embarassed by how lame my life sounds. I just feel like if you really wanted to get to know somebody you would eventually find out what they do for fun, and not have to ask if within the first few minutes you meet someone. Plus, are you really that intersted in what I do for fun?!?

Song of the day: Grenade by, Bruno Mars. Because I love that man.

Baggage.

So awhile back I went back to Moses and hung out with my grams. Grams is obsessed with reality tv and game shows, it always makes me laugh because I’m not sure she really understands what is going on 90% of the time. On this specific occasion she was watching a gameshow on the Game Show Network called ‘Baggage.’ My first clue that this was going to be a great show was the fact that Jerry Springer is the host. On Baggage, there is one contestant and 3 potential mates of the opposite sex. During the first round, the 3 mates each open a suitcase holding their baggage. The contestant then chooses which baggage he can’t live with and that mate must leave. The first round baggage isn’t anything too ridiculous, one girl spent thousands of dollars on ebay, another’s brother was living in a van in front of her house…very high quality woman on this show. The second round baggage gets a little heavier; one of the girls took her own silverware to restaurants because she is a germaphobe. So the contestant again chooses which baggage he would rather deal with and sends the other mate home, leaving one mate left. At this point, the contestant must reveal his baggage that he has been keeping from the mate and she gets to decide if she wants to deal with his baggage. If she decides she can handle his baggage, the couple gets to date and live happily ever after. On this specific episode the guy reveals he has impregnated 5 women, but in his defense he claims, “not all of these resulted in children.” Very appropriate. Thankfully, the lady had enough class to not take the guy on a date. As my grandma was watching the show with me she informed me that the last episode she watched had a man that revealed he was a 40 year old virgin and the lady decided she could not deal with his baggage because she had teenage daughters at home. I’m not sure what is more disturbing , the fact that people actually watch this show or the fact that my grandma was discussing this show with me.

I hope to God I never become desperate enough to be on this show.

Song of the day: 40 Dogs (Romeo and Juliet) by Bob Schneider, I discovered him at Bumbershoot and love this guy and this song!

I love this man. Enough said.

Protect and Guard Her Heart...

So I haven't really watched much of the last few seasons of the Bachelor or Bachelorette, but for some reason I have gotten into this latest season with Ali. One of the bachelors, Kasey Kahl, is completely off of his rocker. This guy is a creepy mccreepertin and it frightens me to know that people like him actually exsist on this Earth. Seriously. He has serious issues, and needs help. I hope his family is watching this and is makig sure he seeks help IMMEDIATELY after leaving this show. I honestly believe the show is forcing Ali to keep him just to keep viewers watching. He is completely off of his rocker. If you have a few 10-15 minutes you HAVE to watch these. You will ot be disappointed. Make sure to watch them in order!




Song of the day: OMG by Usher...because that's what I thought when I first heard Kasey sing...and it has a good beat.

St. Anthony

A few months ago when I went to the visit my family, my grandma explained to me that she was watching the Mass on the Catholic Channel (which she does on a daily basis) and heard the priest say that if a woman wanted to find her soul mate she would need to kneel in front of a statue of St. Anthony and “beg” him to find her a husband. Grams felt it was vital to give me this information. I thanked her and asked her to please continue praying for me. She then proceeded to bring me all sorts of prayer cards and St. Anthony medals she has gotten in the mail throughout the years, hoping they would somehow help me in my search for a husband. A few weeks later, I called my grandma and she politely asked me, “Have you been praying to St. Anthony?” I responded to her, “Yes Grandma,” in which she responded, “And nothing has happened yet??” I am all about praying and believing in a higher power, but this was just all a little too much for me.

I get it, in the words of MC Hammer, we’ve got to pray just to make it today, and I cannot even count how many times I have prayed to St. Anthony to help me find stuff, but I don’t understand the constant pressure to find a husband. I would much rather wait 10 years to find the right guy then settle for someone tomorrow and not be completely happy. I know in the long run it will all be worth it. I have seen too many people in my life stuck in a bad relationship only because they feel they won’t be able to find someone else. At the same time I’m getting a little impatient. So, St. Anthony, if you are reading this (which I’m sure you are) help a sister out!

Song of the day: Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz because I just love this song, and it basically is the story of my love life.